Did you go to bed thinking the Texas Rangers won the World Series?

Admit it, you were tempted to turn off the TV when Derek Holland crossed the plate last night giving the Rangers a three run lead and seemingly a stranglehold on the franchise's first World Series title. If you did, you and the fans who left the stadium before the end of the game have to be kicking yourself this morning. In order to make sure this type of thing never happens to you again, we've created a set of guidelines for you (not based on any science or empirical evidence whatsoever) as to when it is okay to turn the TV off or leave the stadium (if you absolutely must) so you do not miss the next "greatest game ever."

Baseball: Never, there is no time limit, the game is done when the last out is recorded. If you missed it last night, you deserve the shame and ridicule that comes with it.

Football: If it is a 3 possession game and there is less than 4 minutes left and the other team is out of timeouts, I'd say you are pretty safe, that is unless your team's quarterback's name is Tony Romo.

Basketball: If it is a 4 possession game with approximately one minute left and the leading team is about to shoot free throws you are safe (including games involving Reggie Miller).

Hockey: If an empty netter is hit, it's okay to empty the arena, also the first time the zone is cleared in a three goal game with under two minutes to play.

Soccer: In a three goal game once there is under 10 minutes to play (games involving the Italian men's national team and Brazilian women's
team you will have to account for injuries) it is okay to start heading for the car, chances are if a comeback is going to happen the first goal
will be scored before you can make it out of the stadium.

Golf: Changed dramatically since Thanksgiving of two years ago but if Phil Mickelson or Dustin Johnson is involved, stay tuned.

Tennis: Only matches you should be watching are those involving at least 2 of the following 3: Djokavic, Nadal, Federer but if you are an American diehard as soon as Andy Roddick drops the second set the rest of the day is yours to do what you want with it.

Don't miss us on Twitter @MiniVanGundy

NBA Lockout: The main issues holding up a deal

Yesterday was not a good day for the NBA. After marathon negotiating sessions produced no deal, the respective sides took to the media to spin their side of the demands. The players have said from the beginning that the owner's proposal is unreasonable and we tend to agree with them. We've provided a list of 10 of the major issues below though so you can judge for yourself.

1. 50 percent of all televised free agency decisions revenue.

2. Must cover at least 50 percent of Michael Jordan's gambling losses.

3. Ability to sell naming rights on any future name changes by players (Metta World Piece presented by TD Ameritrade).

4. Player's must agree to purchase at least 10,000 WNBA season tickets.

5. Portion of their income to go into escrow to pay for Mark Cuban's fines.

6. Agree to cover damages from any future sexual harassment suits against Isaiah Thomas and the Knicks.

7. Charles Barkley and Antoine Walker must only enter the Palms in Las Vegas as this will serve as the primary financing of new arena in Sacramento.

8. Future players are prohibited from dating Kendall and Kylie Jenner.

9. Anytime Dwight Howard misses a free throw, each owner gets a $100 Best Buy gift card.

10. Lebron's free fries from his new McDonald's commercial.

U.S. Open Preview: NBA Finals Edition

To all of you casual sports fans out there who only seem to turn the dial to golf when Tiger Woods is playing, the U.S. Open is this weekend at Congressional Country Club in Bethesda, Maryland. Still three days later, all the talk in the sports world seems to still be revolving around the recently completed NBA Finals so with that in mind we give you a look at some of the principles in this weekend’s U.S. Open and there closest NBA Finals counterpart.

Lee Westwood – Dirk Nowitzki



Supremely talented Europeans. Lee, like Dirk (before Sunday night) has never really been given his due thanks in part to some close calls and heartbreak on the biggest stage. Westwood can take the next step with a major victory this weekend.

Rory McIlroy – Lebron James



Has all the talent in the world to win multiple championships. Could be immaturity, could be putting too much pressure on themselves, whatever it is they have yet to put 4 rounds (or quarters) together and win the ultimate prize.

Phil Mickleson – Rick Carslile



The elder statesman. Has always shown themselves to be a winner. Willing to take some risks to get the job done and seems to have a few more tricks in their bag than their opponents.

Dustin Johnson – Mark Cuban



Willing to go for broke to get to their goal. Also seems to have issues with authority (i.e. Mark Cuban vs. David Stern; Dustin Johnson vs. non-existent bunkers).

Rickie Fowler – J.J. Barea



Not the biggest guys out there or even the most talented, but they certainly are the flashiest.

Graeme McDowell – Dwyane Wade



They don’t always get talked about as much as those around them, but no one can take away that they have reached the top of the mountain.

Steve Williams – Chris Bosh



Have made a mark for themselves in their game, however, their ultimate task is to aid the brighter stars around them in getting to a championship level.

Bubba Watson – Jason Terry



No one around them will ever say they lack confidence, and what can I say… Chicks dig the long ball.

Luke Donald – Erik Spoelstra



Have spent a lot of time climbing the ladder and putting themselves at what seems like the top of their profession, to be taken seriously though, they need to take that next step.

Matt Kuchar – Brian Cardinal



A hairline joke would be too easy, not to mention cruel (and I don’t want or need that karma coming back to me). What I will say is that you have to admire how hard each of them works out there and they seem to be having fun doing it.

Tiger Woods – Kobe Bryant



Neither one of them make it to their sports biggest stage this year, and you have to ask yourself what it will take for them to get back to the top.

Expanding Lebron James Vocabulary (a short list of other words Lebron James does not know the meaning of)

"That’s crazy, because I had no idea what the word ‘contraction’ meant before I saw it on the Internet,"


Those are the words of Lebron James, who showed a complete lack of sense, not to mention respect for his NBA peers, who happen to be locked in a fairly public (not everything concerning the NBA is about you Lebron) and ugly battle with the owners over the next collective bargaining agreement. And while union president Derek Fisher may say publicly Lebron's stance has not hurt their cause, he certainly couldn't be happy with the most public and talked about NBA player making comments that go along with what the owners want. Despite his designation as the "chosen one," Lebron has shown that he is not all-knowing in his NBA career, so we decided to give him a little vocabulary lesson to better help him on his way.

Championship-designation as champion.
Lebron James’ performance in the NBA playoffs has left him without a championship.

Persevere-To persist in a state, enterprise, or undertaking in spite of counterinfluences, opposition or discouragement.
Following game 5 versus the Boston Celtics, Lebron James could have put forth more effort in his quest to bring the city of Cleveland a championship, however, he chose not to persevere.

Clarity-the quality or state of being clear.
Lebron James’ decision to announce his intention to sign with the Miami Heat on a nationally broadcast special showed a lack of clarity (as well as common sense).

Chorus-Something performed, sung, or uttered simultaneously or unanimously by a number of persons or animals.
In visiting arenas across the NBA, Lebron James hears a chorus of boos.

Outspoken-Spoken or expressed without reserve.
Since joining the Miami Heat, Lebron James has become outspoken, as evidenced by his comments on contraction in the NBA.

"I could care less" rings hollow coming from athletes

When did the phrase "I could care less" become the calling card of the postgame interview or press conference. Kobe Bryant could care less about the rest of the NBA; Randy Moss could care less about the media, Bill Bellichick could care less about what Randy Moss is doing and Lebron James could care less if you call him a point guard, just as long as Erik Spoelstra does not call him one. I understand getting caught up in the moment, but this whole trend is already beyond cliche. If you ask me, it does is a disservice to sports fans in general for athletes and coaches to care less about anything related to them and their sport. These figures are in the position they are in because they care more and worked hard to get where they are at today and for them to say otherwise rings hollow and untrue.

Charlie Villanueva wants to fight Kevin Garnett

Boston Celtics forward Kevin Garnett's trash talking may finally catch up with him. According to tweets sent from Detroit Pistons forward Charlie Villanueva's twitter account, Garnett called Villanueva a cancer patient


One of the tweets says: "KG called me a cancer patient, I'm pissed because, u know how many people died from cancer, and he's tossing it like it's a joke."

Garnett is known for his trash talking on the court. Villanueva suffers from alopecia universalis, a medical condition that results in hair loss. The Pistons forward does not have hair on his head.

Another tweet from Villanueva's account says that Garnett's alleged comments hit home.

"I wouldn't even trip about that, but a cancer patient, I know way 2 many people who passed away from it, and I have a special place 4 those," the message reads.


Villanueva went on to challenge Garnett to a fight in another tweet, it read: "KG talks alot of crap, he's prob never been in a fight, I would love to get in a ring with him, I will expose him." I can neither confirm nor deny whether Garnett has ever been in a fight, but it is just a matter of time with Delonte West lurking in the Celtics locker room.

The Worst Sports City in America

With the report that there were still good seats available for tonight's Magic vs. Heat clash, can we call Miami the worst sports city in America? The Marlins regularly have less than 10,000 (and that's being generous) fans. Ever watch a Hurricanes game? Only time they have a respectable showing is when Florida State or Virginia Tech comes to town. Would anyone in Miami even know that the Florida Panthers are in their metro area? And while the Dolphins are not blacked out, it seems like a lot of those fans come dressed as empty seats each week. But is Miami the worst sports city in America, here are the MiniVanGundy unofficial rankings:

10. Columbus: Calm down Buckeyes fans, NHL expansion town that never seem to fit.

9. Oakland: Fans are passionate, but it's hard to stay that way with incompetent leadership, team and municipalities.

8. Cincinnati: It took Ochocinco going to the streets to sell out a game last year.

7. Charlotte: They lose an NBA team and cry about it, get another one and could care less.

6. Atlanta: Tonight's giveaway at Turner Field... tickets!

5. San Diego: Regular on the NFL blackout circuit, Chargers are tough to watch though.

4. Jacksonville: Here's how to guarantee a sell out everytime, just put a black tarp over all the empty seats.

3. Memphis: With their crime rate I wouldn't want to go to a game either.

2. Tampa: Tampa teams shouldn't feel bad, fans don't support any of them.

1. Miami: Maybe they shouldn't start the games until 2 a.m.

Magic vs. Heat: The most important basketball game of all-time… ever

Tonight, the Orlando Magic travel to Miami to take on the Heat in what will be an early litmus test for each respective squad. Orlando is coming off an 112-83 drubbing of John Wall and the Washington Wizards, while the Heat are asking “what should we do?” after a 1-1 start. Well we here at MiniVanGundy would like to present you with 5 reasons why this is the most important basketball game of all time.

1. Inspired the most apathetic fan base in America (South Florida).
2. Chris Bosh’s self worth will be at an all time high.
3. The FCC will be watching.
4. Has given Miami something else to talk about.
5. Stan Van Gundy will be looking dapper.

Between Two All Stars: Lebron James interviews crazy Florida Atlantic announcer Dave Lamont

New video mashup, Lebron James interviews Florida Atlantic announcer Dave Lamont in this Between Two Ferns parody.

Chris Bosh is who we thought he was

Two games into the NBA season and we already have it all figured out don’t we? Well it is obvious that the Miami Heat do not, as they have struggled to get into a flow on offense, and have looked passive at times. These are the questions that were being asked coming into the season, who was going to step up and be the leader of this team, Lebron or Wade? No one however, was asking if this was going to be Chris Bosh’s team. Bosh is tentative and possibly uncomfortable with the criticism that is being hurled at his team. Remember, Bosh played in Toronto, where it was easy to disappear from the spotlight. He had trouble getting the Raptors to the playoffs in an Eastern Conference that did not include the likes of Amare Stoudemire or Carlos Boozer. His front office thought so much of him that they spent the #1 overall pick on Andrea Bargnani. When he bolted for Miami, Bryan Colangelo publicly questioned his commitment and toughness. Miami fans are asking for Bosh to show the passion he showed in Toronto, be careful what you wish for.

Ohio Radio host hires witch doctor to curse Lebron James

The host of an Ohio radio program hired a witch doctor to curse former Cleveland Cavaliers player Lebron James.

The witch, Samhain and assistant witch Lady Magick used bones, blood, and James' Miami Heat jersey to place a hex on the star live on the air. Rover asked all Cleveland-area listeners of the show, which is based at 100.7 WMMS-FM, to simultaneously focus all their negative energy towards James during the ceremony.

"A broken leg, hand or other debilitating injury would be the best outcome," says Rover. "At the very least a sordid sexual misconduct accusation against LeBron would be alright I suppose."

LeBron James was widely criticized for the way in which he declared his departure from the Cavaliers, announcing it on a live television broadcast on ESPN titled The Decision.

"The city of Cleveland has been cursed for decades with losing sports franchises," notes Rover. "Now we're going on the offensive to curse others. It may not help our teams win, but it will sure make us feel better."


It'll be interesting to see how things play out tonight with Miami visiting Boston and Lebron already having to compete against the luck of the Irish.

Lebron James inspired David Stern

Sorry I missed his hater day on Twitter but Lebron James will be the death of the NBA. How else do you explain the latest actions from NBA Commissioner David Stern? First the report, that hewants to cut player salaries by a third, cutting $750-800 million in expenses from the owners. They all no doubt saw the act by Lebron James taking less money to chase a championship and said to themselves: if the most recognizable star in our league is willing to take less money then everyone else should be willing to fall in line. There is also the report that Stern is considering contraction. This was no doubt inspired by Lebron as well, as his idea of a super team has caught on, which has Stern questioning why should we even have a teams like the Raptors, Bobcats or Grizzlies if we only have 5-6 viable teams? It may have taken David Stern years to realize this, but Lebron James has shown him the light and ugly (or not so ugly, depending which side you are on) truth... that the smartest people in the league are not the guys signing the checks, but the ones cashing them.

Arenas already planning Wiz exit.

Gilbert Arenas seems to have turned over a new leaf since his felony gun conviction last season, and if he has his way he will be leaving the snakebitten franchise in better shape than when he arrived.

Right now I'm out there to hit open shots, teach John the ins and the outs of the game, and then eventually go on and move on -- on my way

No word yet if Arenas will be asking for an assistant coach stipend on top of his 6 year $111 million contract.

Tracy McGrady = Lebron James

T-Mac is jealous of Miami’s Big Three and inconspicuously compares himself to Lebron James.

“I look at all the teams I've been on, and I never had a Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh on the same team. I'm jealous…”

Notice whose name McGrady left out?

T-Mac will always wonder what could’ve been in Orlando with Grant Hill and possibly Tim Duncan, but if I am Duncan, I am a little upset that I am being compared to Chris Bosh.

How NBA Free Agency really went down