Friday, January 20, 2012

Jessica Simpson and the Giants playoff runs

If I am a San Francisco 49ers fan I do not want Jessica Simpson anywhere near Candlestick park this weekend. Why would she be there one might ask? Well she happens to be engaged to former 49ers tight end Eric Johnson. Now Johnson is no all time great by any standard, however in his heyday he was nothing to shake a (candle)stick at and I'm pretty sure if he had the desire to make the trek to the Bay Area for Sunday's AFC championship game, he could probably get tickets with relative ease. For fans of the Giants they can only hope he is joined by his famous fiancé, seeing as how last time the pop star attended a Giants playoff game, Eli Manning led New York to a stunning playoff victory over the Dallas Cowboys prompting Terrell Owens to be overcome with emotion while proclaiming his love for Tony Romo (Vernon Davis anyone?).

Thursday, January 12, 2012

In things MJ or Kobe would never tweet news

We bring you this from the Twitter feed of Lebron James apparently distraught over his dismal performance last night...

Pretty sure if Pau Gasol asked Kobe if he wanted to talk about it after a tough loss, he would be listed as day-to-day.

Find things we would tweet @MiniVanGundy

Friday, November 4, 2011

Peyton Hillis might as well do something for your fantasy team this year.

Peyton Hillis has let so many fantasy owners down this year.  He missed a game with strep throat (is that an NFL first?) and apparently needs a new hamstring more than a new contract.  It's not like me to kick a player when he is down but if you miss a children's event that you've committed to that pretty much makes you fair game, so I'm calling on all of you who own Peyton Hillis to rename your fantasy squad something that vents your frustrations towards him, tweet your new fantasy name to me @MiniVanGundy and I'll retweet them as long as they are not overly offensive (like Hillis this season, see what I did there?).

Friday, October 28, 2011

Did you go to bed thinking the Texas Rangers won the World Series?

Admit it, you were tempted to turn off the TV when Derek Holland crossed the plate last night giving the Rangers a three run lead and seemingly a stranglehold on the franchise's first World Series title. If you did, you and the fans who left the stadium before the end of the game have to be kicking yourself this morning. In order to make sure this type of thing never happens to you again, we've created a set of guidelines for you (not based on any science or empirical evidence whatsoever) as to when it is okay to turn the TV off or leave the stadium (if you absolutely must) so you do not miss the next "greatest game ever."

Baseball: Never, there is no time limit, the game is done when the last out is recorded. If you missed it last night, you deserve the shame and ridicule that comes with it.

Football: If it is a 3 possession game and there is less than 4 minutes left and the other team is out of timeouts, I'd say you are pretty safe, that is unless your team's quarterback's name is Tony Romo.

Basketball: If it is a 4 possession game with approximately one minute left and the leading team is about to shoot free throws you are safe (including games involving Reggie Miller).

Hockey: If an empty netter is hit, it's okay to empty the arena, also the first time the zone is cleared in a three goal game with under two minutes to play.

Soccer: In a three goal game once there is under 10 minutes to play (games involving the Italian men's national team and Brazilian women's
team you will have to account for injuries) it is okay to start heading for the car, chances are if a comeback is going to happen the first goal
will be scored before you can make it out of the stadium.

Golf: Changed dramatically since Thanksgiving of two years ago but if Phil Mickelson or Dustin Johnson is involved, stay tuned.

Tennis: Only matches you should be watching are those involving at least 2 of the following 3: Djokavic, Nadal, Federer but if you are an American diehard as soon as Andy Roddick drops the second set the rest of the day is yours to do what you want with it.

Don't miss us on Twitter @MiniVanGundy

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

WVU owes a certain former coach a big thank you today

The college football dominoes continued to fall today as word came that West Virginia University would be joining the Big 12.  There is not a whole lot coming out of Morgantown right now, so we cannot confirm nor deny whether WVU plans to have any ceremony honoring the man who without all this would be possible... Former head coach Rich Rodriguez.  Yes, as much as Mountaineer fans and alumni may hate to hear that, they owe their pardon from conference purgatory to a man who is reviled in their state.  Scanning various social media outlets today the rhetoric coming from the WVU faithful has largely centered around their success over the last decade, including two BCS bowl wins, all this of course under Rodriguez.  The facts are that conference realignment has centered around football and the efforts of Rodriguez made WVU an asset that was valuable enough for the Big 12 to justify bringing in and feeling good about.  So as you breathe a sigh of relief today after being plucked from the junk pile that is the Big East perhaps you will swallow some of that lingering bitterness from the day RichRod bolted to Ann Arbor and realize that without him, this probably is not possible.

Occupy Movement: Sports Edition

Occupy my Twitter @MiniVanGundy

The occupy movement that started on wall street and has become a global phenomenon shows no signs of slowing down.  It is just a matter if time before it sweeps over the sports landscape. Taking that into account we give you a list of movements that should or are likely to happen... 

LSU fans should occupy honey badger's whereabouts to make sure he is eligible to play against Bama

Tim Tebow should occupy quarters 1-3

The Dolphins should be glad they continued to occupy the loss column #suckforluck

Donovan McNabb should occupy retirement.

If Peyton Manning wants to make sure the Colts aren't in position to draft Andrew Luck he should occupy the offensive coordinator duties

Tashard Choice should no longer occupy a roster spot for the Cowboys

West Virginia head coach Dana Holgerson should occupy the barbershop after occupying a Bill Murray Kingpin costume for Halloween.

Roddy White should be prepared for opposing fans to occupy Rodney chants.

For his postgame press conferences Ron Washington should occupy a jacket that isn't three sizes too big for him.

Tony Larussa should occupy a megaphone.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Potential Peyton Manning Trade Partners

Tony Dungy thinks the Indianapolis Colts should draft Andrew Luck if given the opportunity and trade Peyton Manning.  With what would've been a willing suitor in the Oakland Raiders following their trade for Carson Palmer we look at other potential destinations for the future hall of fame quarterback.

Kansas City Chiefs: A franchise that has some history dealing for legendary quarterbacks, and a team that despite a terrible start has shown signs of life.  With the return of Jamaal Charles and Tony Moeaki in 2012, to join an offense with Dwyane Bowe and Steve Breaston, it could be an appealing destination for Manning.

Washington Redskins:  Are we really to believe Mike Shanahan is going to strap his cart to John Beck or Rex Grossman for the long haul?  Also, do you think Dan Snyder would be able to resist making a move like this.

San Francisco 49ers: Behind Jim Harbaugh and a nasty front seven on defense this is a team in the rise.  They've built a solid offensive line that could keep Manning upright and possibly let Michael Crabtree finally reach his potential.

Baltimore Ravens: To me, this is the one that makes the most sense, with one caveat, the Ravens do not win the Super Bowl this season.  Say Baltimore gets bounced by Pittsburgh in the playoffs again, do you really think anyone in that front office would be brave enough to tell Ray Lewis that they're sticking with Flacco?

Dallas Cowboys: If they miss the playoffs, the calls for Tony Romo's head may be too loud to ignore.  Much like Baltimore, this is a team built to win now.

Why you hate fantasy football: Week 7

The most hated player on your team.

Ryan Torain: owners should've known Shanahan would've killed any chances of him producing a worthy line after a disappointing line against the Eagles, however, the zone blocking scheme leads to delusions of grandeur which even yours truly fell victim to.  Don't be surprised if Torain has a few more decent performances though, I'm pretty sure Shanahan just likes to mess with everyone.

Runner up: Darren McFadden

Michael Bush put up 111 yards after run dmc went down, could've been an epic day.

The most hated player on your opponent's team:

Demarco Murray:  here's the situation, your friend gets up Sunday morning, looks at the waiver wire and sees Murray available and Tashard Choice available.  They choose Murray and proceed to not shut up until Fox's animation domination goes off the air.  

Runner up: Arian Foster

Might get some flak for not going with a member of Saints here, but you knew Brees and co. would take the Colts behind the woodshed.  Foster was so good, he made Ben Tate a decent pickup again.

Your weekly Ndamukong Suh is a dirty player report

Ndamukong Suh is becoming the second most scrutinized player in the NFL (Broncos quarterback cough cough).  Following the Detroit Lions loss to the Atlanta Falcons the biggest headlines to come out of the game were about things Suh may or may not have said following an injury to Falcons quarterback Matt Ryan, not about the Falcons starting to play up to their potential or the injury to Matthew Stafford.  No, all anyone wanted to talk about is how Suh said "get the cart" following the injury to Ryan and how classless that was.  Now I have no idea what is said in the trenches during an NFL game, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say Suh probably said some nastier things then "get the cart" during the course of the game.  If players have a problem with what he's saying, they could always try blocking him, that might keep him quiet.  Also, once again, I'm not privy to the inner workings of the NFL but I'll go out on another limb and say that a lot of players probably lost respect for the members of the Falcons who chose to figuratively throw Suh under the bus to the media.

Friday, October 21, 2011

NBA Lockout: The main issues holding up a deal

Yesterday was not a good day for the NBA. After marathon negotiating sessions produced no deal, the respective sides took to the media to spin their side of the demands. The players have said from the beginning that the owner's proposal is unreasonable and we tend to agree with them. We've provided a list of 10 of the major issues below though so you can judge for yourself.

1. 50 percent of all televised free agency decisions revenue.

2. Must cover at least 50 percent of Michael Jordan's gambling losses.

3. Ability to sell naming rights on any future name changes by players (Metta World Piece presented by TD Ameritrade).

4. Player's must agree to purchase at least 10,000 WNBA season tickets.

5. Portion of their income to go into escrow to pay for Mark Cuban's fines.

6. Agree to cover damages from any future sexual harassment suits against Isaiah Thomas and the Knicks.

7. Charles Barkley and Antoine Walker must only enter the Palms in Las Vegas as this will serve as the primary financing of new arena in Sacramento.

8. Future players are prohibited from dating Kendall and Kylie Jenner.

9. Anytime Dwight Howard misses a free throw, each owner gets a $100 Best Buy gift card.

10. Lebron's free fries from his new McDonald's commercial.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Boris Said is ready to fight

Nascar driver and road track specialist is no fan of Greg Biffle. Will he use Mapquest or Google Maps?


Friday, August 12, 2011

Video: Crazy Tiger Woods Fan

He's no cigar guy, but I found him pretty entertaining. Is he somehow related to Kevin James?

Follow us on Twitter @MiniVanGundy

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Giants can be mad, but not at Steve Smith

There are reports surfacing today that New York Giants head coach Tom Coughlin feels betrayed by new Philadelphia Eagles receiver Steve Smith. Giants executive Pat Hanlon, in one of his least inflammatory tweets of the past day or two said that the Giants made responsible offers to Smith and Kevin Boss. I'm not sure what a responsible offer is, but chances are for a wide receiver coming off microfracture surgery, it probably was an incentive laden deal and I'd be shocked if it was longer than one year. Smith knew he had to find the best deal for him, because his chance to get his real contract will be coming up next year and maybe if Giants tone down the anger and rhetoric they'll have their chance to give Smith the contract they apparently are so desperate to give him.

Make sure you are following us on twitter @MiniVanGundy

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

NFL Stadiums that should be blown up

With the story circulating yesterday about Heinz Field’s role and demise in the upcoming Dark Knight Rises movie, we decided it would be a good idea to examine which NFL stadiums deserve the same fate.

San Francisco 49ers:
Candlestick Park-Comes across on television as quite possibly the ugliest stadium in the league. No one quite knows what is going on with those seats that keep wrapping around, is there some abyss under the midfield seats? The good news is that everything seems a go for them to finally move into a new stadium in the coming years.

Buffalo Bills
To put it bluntly, this is a team that the past few seasons has chosen to go play in another country once a year to try and generate more fan interest and revenue. Owner Ralph Wilson has said once he passes the team will be sold to the highest bidder, the Bills may be in a holding pattern until then.

Oakland Raiders
With the Florida Marlins moving into new digs next year, the Raiders will be the only remaining team in the NFL that shares their stadium with a Major League Baseball team. Raiders fans have to hope Los Angeles doesn’t swoop in and steal them away again before the Raiders secure a new stadium in the Bay Area.

San Diego Chargers
The Chargers escape the Major League Baseball distinction the Raiders have, only because the Padres moved to beautiful Petco Park. Another team that is on the Los Angeles radar.

Minnesota Vikings
Mother Nature did her best to finish off the Metrodome last year. Has to be frustrating for Zygi Wilf to constantly go through the political tug of war to try and get a new place built.

St. Louis Rams
The Rams have the same stadium problems that the Vikings have, they are in a place that just is not capable of generating the type of revenue some of these new palaces are. Like the Raiders they could look to go back to Los Angeles.