Friday, October 28, 2011

Did you go to bed thinking the Texas Rangers won the World Series?

Admit it, you were tempted to turn off the TV when Derek Holland crossed the plate last night giving the Rangers a three run lead and seemingly a stranglehold on the franchise's first World Series title. If you did, you and the fans who left the stadium before the end of the game have to be kicking yourself this morning. In order to make sure this type of thing never happens to you again, we've created a set of guidelines for you (not based on any science or empirical evidence whatsoever) as to when it is okay to turn the TV off or leave the stadium (if you absolutely must) so you do not miss the next "greatest game ever."

Baseball: Never, there is no time limit, the game is done when the last out is recorded. If you missed it last night, you deserve the shame and ridicule that comes with it.

Football: If it is a 3 possession game and there is less than 4 minutes left and the other team is out of timeouts, I'd say you are pretty safe, that is unless your team's quarterback's name is Tony Romo.

Basketball: If it is a 4 possession game with approximately one minute left and the leading team is about to shoot free throws you are safe (including games involving Reggie Miller).

Hockey: If an empty netter is hit, it's okay to empty the arena, also the first time the zone is cleared in a three goal game with under two minutes to play.

Soccer: In a three goal game once there is under 10 minutes to play (games involving the Italian men's national team and Brazilian women's
team you will have to account for injuries) it is okay to start heading for the car, chances are if a comeback is going to happen the first goal
will be scored before you can make it out of the stadium.

Golf: Changed dramatically since Thanksgiving of two years ago but if Phil Mickelson or Dustin Johnson is involved, stay tuned.

Tennis: Only matches you should be watching are those involving at least 2 of the following 3: Djokavic, Nadal, Federer but if you are an American diehard as soon as Andy Roddick drops the second set the rest of the day is yours to do what you want with it.

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